Hina Hina stealer
by Zorrashi
Summary: Hitsugaya is walking down the street when he sees Ikkaku running for his life! He goes to fight his oponent himself only to find that he can't because she's his only nightmare. One-shot humor.


Hitsugaya was walking down the street, his head was held high, his arms crossed and his zanpoktou on his back as the green sash was shown prominent on his figure. He was enjoying the serenity of the peace that has become frequent over the few years after the winter war.

He never paid much attention to the small things in life that he now slightly relished in the silence; the chirping of birds, the smell of a fresh breeze and even the dirt and dust that blew his way.

But even he still had reflexes from the war, and they ceased to stop.

His eyes flashed to his front center, his nerves going berserk now that they sensed frightened spiritual pressure, heading his way very fast. Incredibly fast. He recognized it as the spiritual pressure ok Ikkaku. Why would that battle loving 3rd seat be running?

His hand instinctively moved to the hilt of his sword and his body moved to a fighting stance. Whoever scared the living shit out of Ikkaku was still chasing him. But whoever it was was unknown to him; Ikkaku's pitiably frightened spiritual pressure prevented him from knowing, the way it unstably ran amok.

Within a moment he saw Ikkaku, and he was faster than he had anticipated, he literally zoomed past him, leaving a large cloud of dust right by him. Hitsugaya looked over his shoulder as he watched the man run, his brain trying to configure what happened. He was so surprised that his attention was purely on how world record fast Ikkaku was running, that he forgot to sense the spiritual pressure of the one who frightened him.

Once he remembered, he was too distracted by the thought that he almost didn't realize that another figure ran past, faster than Ikkaku, but not as obvious. Whoever it was sealed his spiritual pressure, and was running so fast that the dust barely even got disturbed.

"What the hell?"

Just as he said that, a tile about 4 feet away was lifted up, revealing a gasping Yumichika "Thank you so much Hanatarou!"

Hitsugaya blankly stared as the wimpy squad 4 member came out just behind him, looking just as dumbfounded as he was "U-um…Your saying thank you? T-to me?" the boy looked frightened….and since when did Yumichika call him by his name!

Yumichika clasped both of his hands and looked at him in the eyes, his 'beautiful character' coming into play "I say thank you because you saved me from the beautiful beast who tried to maul me. You have no idea how frightening that was, or how covenant it was that you were in the underground…." He released his hands and did a dramatic pose as he wiped tears from his eyes as he appeared to be wiping away sweat, as it glistened in the sunlight he said "Even if you are a lowly, pathetic squad 4 member….I thank you for saving my beauty."

It was about then that he noticed captain Hitsugaya, he looked at him for a moment, with either a look of hopefulness or a 'does he have any idea?' look.

Hitsugaya stared back. So many things were going wrong here….

So many things….

Just then, a certain spiritual pressure rose up out of nowhere, it was coming from the same direction Ikkaku ran.

Hitsugaya was wide-eyed "T-This is…!

**-x-**

Kira Izuru was walking down one of the squad 3 buildings, once he sensed spiritual pressure from the one person whom he feared most when she was pissed off, he straight out bolted away from it. He noticed it was coming his way. His nerves were going haywire, his eyes widening with every breathing moment it seemed to increase.

He was so panicked that he didn't bother to pay attention to his surroundings, which is how he ended up tripping over captain Hitsugaya's huddled form.

Hitsugaya snapped his head toward him and pretty much pulled him over right by his side where he ordered Kira to shut up and hide. Kira had to remind himself that Hitsugaya was pretty strong, despite his small figure.

Kira was breathing heavily "Y-you don't think-"

"There's** nothing** to think! We all know who that is!"

"B-but w-"

"I don't know who pissed her off or how they did it and to be totally honest, I don't care! She's on a rampage now and she can kill us both off easy!" He seemed to crouch lower as he thought about it, Kira dong the same.

"Captain Hitsugaya? Kira?"

The duo turned around and found Hisagi, who was staring wide-eyed as he witnessed **the** child prodigy, the captain of squad 10 who was known for his icy exterior and mature standing, cowering behind a corner of a building with Izuru.

Hisagi pinched himself to make sure this wasn't a dream, when it proved it wasn't he said, in a rather awkward tone "I-I have noticed that someone in particular is out of sorts. I have no idea who it is, but apparently he's running fast."

"SHE." They both said, Kira motioning him to join them.

Hisagi hesitated for moment, but obliged "What do you mean **she?**"

Kira looked at him in the eye "We mean that person is a girl!" in was in a hushed whisper. "and it's the **last** person you would imagine!"

Hisagi looked at him, then at captain Hitsugaya, and he himself started to feel scared "W-who is she…"

Hitsugaya looked at him wide eyes as if he was saying he shouldn't have asked "She's-"

A menacing voice spoke behind them, a soft female voice "Who was it…?"

They looked behind them and Hitsugaya and Izuru cowered even lower, and Hisagi just stared in surprise. He was looking at Hinamori and she had a fierce flame in her menacing eyes that shot daggers. This is the first time he's seen it and it was indeed frightening. "H-Hinamori!"

Hitsugaya and Izuru clasped their hands over his mouth "He didn't mean that!"

Hinamori glared for a moment, then grabbed Hisagi by his uniform and dragged him up to her height, turning around as to not let the other two see her expression "Was it you Hisagi?"

What Hisagi saw mortified him; his blood was draining from his face.

If it wasn't for the flash of steel, he would've been mentally scarred. Apparently Ikkaku had his zanpoktou out in shikai form and had the three joints detaches and ready "I thought someone was out of sorts today…but I never thought it would be** you.** So? Want to vent all your anger on me, Liutenate Hinamori?"

Hitsugaya looked at him as If he was crazy "Weren't you running from her earlier!"

Ikkaku looked the same way Hisagi did when he first saw him there "Uh…no. I just found out they were giving away free sake over at that bar. You know, the one down by the old district. Apparently it was shutting down so they giving away some of their goods, no price at all."

"But your spiritual pressure was frightened!"

"Well duh! I thought Rangiku was already there and taking sake by the crate! Of course I was scared she'd take it all!"

"…" he could find no fault with that.

"But anyway…" he continued, he raised his staff and was about to charge, but he instead felt pain all throughout his gut as he was sent flying in the opposite direction. He landed with a thud as he fell face first down into the dirt "ugggg…." He mumbles. He got up and scratched his head "That was one hell of a punch…" then something hit him, his hands were patting down the ground around him as he frantically searched for his zanpoktou "Where'd it-" he looked up to see Hinamori holding it, her right hand clasping the middle handle.

She brought it closer to her chest as she allowed another hand to clasp it.

Ikkaku was sure he felt his soul break as she actually **broke** it with her bare hands. Letting the two pieces fall to the ground.

Then she gave him, NO JOKE, Unohana-look-alike-smile. The smile was arched in the same way, her eyes were closed in the same way, and even the atmosphere around her was the same. It sent shivers and horrors into Ikkaku's very being. It was then he realized that this was what Hisagi was facing just a few moments ago.

"Was it you, Ikkaku…?" she opened her eyes, and it sent the final message to Ikkaku.

"N-no! I swear lieutenant Hinamori!"

She seemed to take that answer, and she turned away from him.

He took the chance to crawl over to where the other three were, Hisagi and Izuru were now hugging each other as Hitsugaya hugged his knees. Ikkaku took a seat right next to him and started doing the same.

But just then, hope filled him as he saw a familiar figure walking up to them, passing Hinamori in the process "Look guys!"

They didn't have to be told, they already saw Kenpachi Zaraki walking toward them, eyeing every single one "What are you guys doing?" he then points at Hitsugaya "especially you. I never thought I would see **you** cowering beside these lower ranked men."

Hitsugaya points to Momo and it was then that he noticed Ikkaku's broken zanpoktou. He looked at it confused as he called out "Mind telling me what's going on here?"

Momo responded by walking toward him, her head bowed down low, so Zaraki couldn't see her expression. He just thought she was coming over to answer.

But he was wrong, oh so wrong. The moment she was within range she just merely grabbed hold of the side of his chest and sent him behind her with such force and quickness that they actually heard a CRACK as Kenpachi's head landed with the rubble wall.

The trees who were cowering gasped.

And that was how the fight began.

Hisagi whispered "H-how?"

Izuru answered "We think that maybe this is her alter ego."

"Alter ego?" Ikkaku echoed.

"Yeah. We think maybe all the pent up anger and frustration from over the years bundled up into one personality. Kind of like Hisagi-kun's zanpoktou."

Hisagi blinked "I never even thought she had feelings like hate!"

"You're basically saying that you never thought she was human." Hitsugaya chimed in. Hitsugaya looked at the Ikkaku.

"Well despite what you say, I highly doubt just that is enough to make-" Ikkaku glanced at Hinamori "THAT."

Hitsugaya then went into a lower whisper "So that's not enough proof for you! Well get this; her blood type is AB!"

"So?" everyone else said.

"SO? That's the same rare blood type as Unohana, Kenpachi and Mayuri!"

They all gasped as the realization hit; it was a very convincing.

They imagined all three of them in their scariest states, with a smiling Hinamori at the end.

All four of them then started watching Momo and Kenpachi battling in hand to hand combat.

"So…" Hisagi said "What made her pissed off?" shuddering as he was hit full force with a blast of Momo's spiritual pressure, the murderous intent making him want to faint.

**-x-**

In the 8th division quarter's, Nanao was walking furiously down the hall with a small pink bundle in her hand, blushing profusely as she did so. Not even bothering to knock as she furiously came into the private lounge where her drunk captain was indulging himself in sake from the recent give out.

"Captain!" she screamed.

This caught the 8th captain's attention "What it is it my cute little Nanao-chan?" he smiled as he saw the red blush that was on her cheeks.

"What is THIS?" she threw the pink bundle at the man's chest, which he caught. He started to examine the item, a huge blush of his own to spring up "Well…you see, I was wandering around the city late at night and I came by squad 5's barracks by accident and a thought came to mind…so I kinda…"

Nanao came over and snatched away the silk garment, hiding it in one of her pockets "You did **not **steal **Hinamori's**-! "

Shunsui's face was completely red "You would never think someone like that -"

"Captain!"

"Don't pretend you weren't curious about what she wore too!"

"Only a pervert would sneak into a girl's room and rummage through her drawers!" Nanao slapped him hard in the face.

"But seriously! You would NEVER think someone like her would wear such lacey, sexy undergar-"

Nanao decided to slap him 5 more times in a row.


End file.
